Sunday, January 7, 2018

"A Mother's Reckoning" by Sue Klebold

Genre: Memoir
Format: E-Book
Publication: February 2016
Cover Rating: 5/5 Stars

From Goodreads: On April 20, 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Over the course of minutes, they would kill twelve students and a teacher and wound twenty-four others before taking their own lives.

For the last sixteen years, Sue Klebold, Dylan’s mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong? Were there subtle signs she had missed? What, if anything, could she have done differently?

These are questions that Klebold has grappled with every day since the Columbine tragedy. In A Mother’s Reckoning, she chronicles with unflinching honesty her journey as a mother trying to come to terms with the incomprehensible. In the hope that the insights and understanding she has gained may help other families recognize when a child is in distress, she tells her story in full, drawing upon her personal journals, the videos and writings that Dylan left behind, and on countless interviews with mental health experts.

Filled with hard-won wisdom and compassion, A Mother’s Reckoning is a powerful and haunting book that sheds light on one of the most pressing issues of our time. And with fresh wounds from the recent Newtown and Charleston shootings, never has the need for understanding been more urgent.

All author profits from the book will be donated to research and to charitable organizations focusing on mental health issues.

My Thoughts: This is a tough review to write. There's so much I want to say and touch on, but I'm not sure how to put it in a way that someone could understand my feelings without reading the book themselves.

I've always been interested in the Columbine Shooting. It was the first major news event that I can remember seeing, and the first one that actually mattered to me since I was just starting middle school. The news coverage on it was extensive causing the boys who did it to become legends in a way. Off and on I've ran across articles on the shooting throughout the years, but it wasn't until I read Dave Cullen's novel Columbine (original review found here), that I really had some inkling of what happened. What's more, it made me question everything I thought I knew about the murderers and how the media portrayed them- they were goths, they were loners, they were bullied, etc. When the truth is so much more complex than that. After reading Dave's novel and the journal entries the boys wrote, I quickly came to the realization that Dylan Kelbold was not who the media portrayed him to be and that he had a mental illness. That may have been obvious to everyone else, and to a degree I knew that before I read Dave's book... but I don't think I realized that when you stripped away all the other possible "reasons" the boys did what they did you're left with the fact that Dylan was mentally sick.

This is where Sue's book picks up. I feel like this book was her way of saying "Here's what kind of parent I was. I was just like you. I did everything I was supposed to do and I still missed the signs." And I believe her. Sue's book isn't just about her relationship with Dylan, his life or the shooting. It goes deeper than that. It's an in depth look into life after someone you love commits suicide. Of course, in Sue's case it's much worse than that since Dylan's was a murder/suicide.

I was left with so much respect for Sue Klebold after reading this. The way she wrote this book, as a mother who loved her son but also as an apology to all of his victims... it was simply heartbreaking to be put in her shoes. But as I said before, this isn't just about Dylan. This book serves as a reminder to parents everywhere that this can happen to you. The Klebolds were a normal family. The signs of Dylan's depression (when they were there) were subtle and nothing you wouldn't chalk up to being a teenager. It was truly eye opening and it definitely changed some of my views on how I will be parenting my own daughter when she gets to be older.

The bottom line is, I would recommend this book to every parent. I would also recommend that you read Columbine first as it goes into much more detail as to what happened and gives a broader understanding of the event.

My Rating: 5/5 Stars

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

"Bossypants" by Tina Fey

Genre: Nonfiction/ Autobiography
Format: Kindle
Publication: April 2011
Cover Rating: 2/5 Stars

From Goodreads: Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV.

She has seen both these dreams come true.

At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon—from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence.

Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've all suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy.

My Thoughts: Let me start off by saying I'm not some huge Tina Fey fan. I liked her on SNL and of course Mean Girls is a national treasure, but other than that I haven't really followed anything that she's done. I've never watched 30 Rock or really any other movie that she's been in. But I was in the mood to read some nonfiction and after reading "A Note From the Author" at the beginning of this book and really laughing out loud I decided to give it a shot.

I'm not really sure what I was expecting from Bossypants. Humor obviously, but I also expected something with more substance than what I got. The book IS funny. I laughed out loud so many times while reading it that my husband had to come in and ask me what I was giggling about. But the parts in between the funny bits? It wasn't really anything interesting or that I cared to know about. Maybe if I was some superfan of hers I would have enjoyed it more, but to me it was just kind of... meh. If Tina fey made one of those bathroom joke books, I'd read it because I do think she is funny. Or maybe if she even wrote a fiction novel (since she was the screen writer for Mean Girls). But in all honesty, this was just boring.

My Rating: 2/5 Stars


Monday, January 1, 2018

Hello 2018!

So for the past few years I have done a New Year's post. It's nice to look back on the previous year to see what I've accomplished and the goals I want to make for the new year.

Resolutions Completed in 2017:
1. Read 35 Books. 
I actually kicked butt in this one and ended up reading 58 books! Just a few of my favorites:
 







2. I came off my blood pressure medicine!
Okay, this one was really hard and a little tricky. In fact, I JUST came off of it last week. Turns out my blood pressure issue was more of an anxiety issue. So once I got the proper care and started taking an anti-anxiety medicine, I no longer needed the blood pressure medicine. The moral here is always take care of your mental health!

3. I went on vacation!
 Zack and I never really took any vacations alone. We always went with my family. Well, I'm happy to say this year that we went on our very first family vacation to Gatlinburg! It was really amazing- secluded up in a cabin with a hot tub overlooking beautiful mountain scenery. I loved it!

4. I learned to let go of the Mom Guilt (mostly).
Leaving River with anyone caused me a serious plague of Mom Guilt. I couldn't enjoy my time out alone at all. I believe a good chunk of this was my anxiety pre-medicated self, but it also just comes with being a mom. Over the past year I learned to let River embrace spending time with other family members, and to seriously cherish that rare alone time I got. 

5. Find a new hobby that I love.
I have always wanted to learn how to crochet, and this year I planted my butt in front of my laptop and watched a hundred videos on how to crochet! I'm far from an expert, but I know enough to make some pretty rad blankets, scarfs, and hats!

6. Took a vacation alone with my mom and daughter.
This wasn't a resolution I had made, but it was something I never would have thought I could have done before. This probably isn't a big deal to most people, but this was a huge deal for me. My mother and I haven't spent any extended amount of time like this together in over ten years. I'm not going to get into why, but it was a really great, healing trip for me. I rented a cabin in a small town in my state and we were completely surrounded by woods and a hot tub to relax in. It was a really memorable trip for us and I hope we can experience it again this year. Also, I'm not a huge fan of driving, so the fact that I drove the entire trip having no idea where I was going was a huge deal for me.

2018 Reading Challenge:
Besides my Goodreads Challenge, I came across this wonderful reading challenge from Modern Mrs. Darcy
1. My Goodreads Goal is to read 75 Books, but honestly I've learned quality > quantity so I'm not really going to sweat it if I don't make that.
2. Read a Classic
3. Read a Recommendation by Someone With Great Taste
4. Read a Book in Translation
5. Read a Book Nominated for a 2018 Award
6. Read a Poetry, Play, or Essay Collection.
7. Read A Book You Can Read in a Day.
8. Read A Book That’s More Than 500 pages.
9. Read A Book By A Favorite Author.
10. Read A Banned Book.
11. Read a Memoir or Biography
12. Read a Book by an Author of Different Race, Religion, or Ethnicity.

2018 Resolutions:
1. Lose 50 Pounds.
2. Be Kinder.
3. Make Date Night a Priority.
4. Pay Off All Credit Cards.
5. Potty Train River.
6. Cook One Exotic Meal at Least Once A Month.
7. Come Off Anxiety Medication (as long as it's safe!)
8. Cross Off Something On My Bucket List

"Starlight Nights" by Stacey Kade

Series: 738 Days #2
Genre: New Adult
Publication: January 9, 2018
Format: Kindle
Cover Rating: 5/5 Stars

From Goodreads: At twenty-three, Calista Beckett is trying to overcome her early fame and fortune. The former savior of the world on Starlight is now a freshman at college--miles away from L.A. and her former existence. She sees it as her start to a new life, a normal life, one where she won't make the same mistakes she made before--a brush with heroin addiction and losing her freedom to her controlling mother, thanks to a court order.

Eric Stone played her older brother, Byron, on Starlight. But she's been in love with him pretty much since they kissed--her first kiss--while auditioning. When Eric shows up on campus out of the blue asking her to return to California for a role, Calista's struck immediately by two things: first, in spite of everything that's happened, she still feels something dangerous for him, and second, she's absolutely determined not to let him ruin her life again.

Only Eric's not giving up so easily.

My Thoughts: Let me just say, I love Stacey Kade! She's such an awesome author and if you're not reading her books or following her on social media you are missing out big time.

So basically, I have been waiting very impatiently on this novel for over a year! Stalking facebook posts, twitter, netgalley, etc. I fell head over heels for the first book, 738 Days (review found here), and from there I was seriously jonesing for more. So you can imagine how THRILLED I was when I opened my e-mail and found out I had received one of the ARC's! I may or may not have squealed and jumped up and down in delight.

I'm just going to be honest with you guys, I went into this book with really high hopes, and I was NOT disappointed! I was always curious about what went on with Calista and Eric and how they were turning out. What I really loved about this book is how flawed these characters are (especially Eric), and yet you can't help falling for them and rooting for them. You get angry at them and then you find yourself rooting for them.  Just like in the first novel, you get quickly sucked into this story and you are left turning the pages late into the night to find out what is going to happen between these people who really need each other. For me, friends to lovers is kind of hit or miss genre. It doesn't always feel real, but Stacey nailed it. The chemistry between Calista & Eric was electric and I loved their story!

Bottom Line: If Stacey Kade writes it, I'm reading it and recommending it!

My Rating: 5/5 Stars
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